As I sat down to write my blog this morning, the computer automatically informed me that there were updates to install.  And although my first response was, “Aw crap, now there is a delay in getting this done,” I knew better than to put this one off.  The process took all of three minutes and gave me a satisfying DLING! when “success was complete”.

Oh if all of life was as simple as my Mac! I would love a little bell that notified me that the newest download in my own system was actually successfully complete.

This has been a big week for me in terms of new downloads – or in terms of clearly seeing some old ones. As I have made a commitment to my new workshops, a myriad of old junk has come forward, including the old thought of “I am not enough”.

I traced the feeling back at least to my early childhood when I felt like I was not enough for my parents. Both of my parents were alcoholics, so clearly they had their own issues with not being/having enough.  But in retrospect, I have no real evidence to think that they thought I was less than perfect. I was simply looking for something from the wrong place.  They did not have the resources to provide me with the fulfillment that ultimately had to come from within.

So now begins the real journey of downloading the software called, “I am enough.”  This new software is fortunately more powerful than the old systems, which are still in widespread use and can’t seem to read the information or get the message.  I am amazed at the constant messages in our culture and in my own thought patterns that keep insisting that I am somehow lacking in the essential qualities that would make me good enough. 

For what!??!  For whom?!!?

It’s time to know that I am indeed enough.  I choose to feel the fulfillment and contentment that comes with knowing that I/you/they are enough.  Sure, I want to continue growing and learning and becoming more alive and awake with each breath, but I also know that it is much easier to expand and contribute if I start from a place of appreciation and gratitude. If I am entangled with the striving to be enough, then I cannot appreciate what I already have.

Here is a favorite passage from Lynne Twist’s Soul of Money, “When you let go of trying to get more of what you don’t really need, it frees up oceans of energy to make a difference with what you have.  When you make a difference with what you have, it expands.”

DLING! Download complete!